Are we there yet?

It's finally come down to the two week mark! I find myself both elated that the transition out is nearly over and deeply sad at the same moment.  Our shipment flies out on Tuesday, so we've got about four days left to have it ready. The kids and I are headed back to IN one last time for the summer. We're going to finish packing and cleaning the house and saying our farewells before we come back to MI for our final week and a half. Gulp...

I won't have internet because it's getting shut off today... I may have a lot to blog about on Sunday!

Look what I found!

So, last time we went from MI to IN I realized that I'd forgotten some important things (shocker..)...  The kids' air beds, sheets, and Marek's clothing...  Whoops... I went to the local children's resale shop to get M some clothing for our time in IN and I found this shirt! M was so excited!  He's been wearing it every time I wash it. 

FAN-TA-STIC

Want to know what fantastic is?  Fantastic is getting a letter from the city weeks before you leave the country (and your house unsold) letting you know that there is a pipe leak in your front yard (oh.. is that what the giant water hole that you reported LAST YEAR is??).  That's not the best part though. The letter goes on to tell you that you (not the city) are responsible to fix it because it is past the curb...  And.. if it isn't completed in the next 30 days they will shut off water service to said house..  FAN-TA-STIC

Estimated cost to fix:  $1,200 



Because moving overseas isn't expensive enough... Ahhhhhhhh

It would be really nice to catch a break soon... 

At least this isn't our house.. 

It's hard...

Here's something I've learned:

Moving as a single person involves some stress.
Moving as a couple involves more stress.
Moving as a couple with children involves the stress of the two above times A LOT.
Moving to another country, with children involves A LOT of stress plus some more and then a few semis full dumped on top of that... 

We figured it was going to be stressful.  We aren't that naive.  I don't think we had any concept of what this was going to be like for us or for the kids.  Any concept..

Here's what I've noticed about myself:

• I can't fall asleep at home.  It takes hours and hours.  
• My faith is growing by leaps and bounds.  
• I am fatigued most of the time.
• I can't be bothered to do my hair.  I - can't - do - it.
• My patience is VERY high for my children's needs, but VERY low for anything else (especially dumb people - sorry, there are dumb people)
• My emotions are all over the place.  "What is this water coming from my eyes???"
• I obsess about the weirdest things. Lists and lists of things to do, things to take, things...  Gosh, I hate stuff.  I keep making sure we have enough stickers and fun workbooks and GF baking flour (just got a 25lb bag.. seriously??).
• I no longer care if my children match (clean yes, matching no).
• My body is out of whack..  (that's all I'll say)

Here's what I've noticed about A:

• He's tired.  He can fall asleep anytime/anywhere. (yes, this makes me bitter)
• He stays out of my way unless I ASK for help. (I don't do that well..)
• He is much more "big picture."  I am much more "detail, detail, detail."
• He needs routine.  
• His faith is growing by leaps and bounds.
• He spends a lot more time on ESPN.com.

And then... there are the kids.  I couldn't have predicted how much this move would effect our kids.  Until this move, their world was a fairly predictable, well planned, low chaos place.  We have lost predictable. We've lost routine.  We slammed right through the door to chaos' house... 

• They don't want to be at home anymore, they're done with my seemingly constant packing, organizing, cleaning, purging. 
• Every emotion is HUGE (they've always been highly sensitive, but this is off the charts).
• They go from 0 to 10, there's nothing in between.
• They want to be a part of EVERYTHING I do.  I can't stress this point enough...  there are times where they are both sitting on the rug when I step out of the shower. 
• They get what's happening.  I overheard M talking to a little boy in the check out at Toys r Us the other day: "We're moving soon.. to Qatar.  That's in the Persian Gulf.  It's a long way away, but we'll be back to visit."  The kid couldn't have cared less, but M was proud to give the information. 
• They are clingy.  Let's just say if I could wear them in a baby carrier again, they would totally go for it.  I was holding P on my lap the other day, she looks up at me and says, "Mommy, I NEED you to HOLD me!"
• They don't like being apart (the family being apart).  We've been spending weeks in MI this summer helping out with my nieces and getting time away from the house.  On our way up here last week, P broke down (mommy had tears too), "I need Daddy!  My heart is breaking without him.."  Lots of crying.  I felt awful...  We had a long talk about all of us getting on the plane together, riding together, arriving together.. you get the picture. 
• They don't want to sleep alone.  We've bounced around a lot (understatement) in the past few months and they are not about to all asleep in their own rooms alone.  I imagine when we do arrive in Qatar, there will be weeks (months) of sleeping adjustment: thankfully we home school.
  
  Honestly, while this period is hard and the growth that is taking place is HUGE for all of us, it will only benefit us (especially the kids) in the long run.  They are learning (very quickly) so many lessons that will help them later in life. 
  
  I'm pretty sure that it will get worse before it gets better, but I sure hope our transition to life in Qatar isn't as long or hard as our transition out of here.  Those of you who have done this.. don't tell me if I'm wrong ok?  Let me believe (for now).
  

Semi trucks of stress...

Waves

I'm not one to get to gushy... you know emotional..  Feelings have never been easy for me.  I like to keep myself between "fine" and "frustrated" so as to avoid any of the real mushy feelings.  Lately though, I find myself with these huge waves of emotions that are neither fine nor frustrated. 

We  hosted a combination 5th birthday celebration for P and farewell to the Fort BBQ on Sunday.  It was great.  I mean really great.  There was an amazing group of people all gathered on my patio to see us "one last time" before we fly.  We had burgers, laughed, played Frozen trivia (the adults were great sports)... but every so often I'd just look around and notice the faces of my dear friends/family and I'd get hit with a wave.  They are a lovely group.  Truly kind and genuine people who would give you the shirt off their backs if they thought it would help you out.  (I'm reserving a post for the party when I get the pictures back... more later)

Just as we were wrapping up the party, a good friend hugged me and started crying.  I was hit with another wave.  I'm really going to miss her (her hubs and baby girl too)!  We went on a vegan health kick together...  We mourned the loss of her first baby over soup and chose a tree to plant in memory of the sweet life.  When her little girl was born almost 8 months ago, I was able to help her out in ways that others had helped me when I was a first time mom (and struggling deeply).  As we became God parents to her sweet E, I was hit with a wave of gratitude for the friendship that has been forged between us. 

Another friend, who stayed late to visit and help out was cleaning my kitchen while I held her sleeping baby (1.5 months old and sugar sweet).  I was hit with another wave...  We met when she first arrived in the Fort.  She came shopping at a garage sale I was having.  We clicked right away and have been friends since then (I can't believe it's been years and I'm still "garage sale K").  We've supported each other through a lot.. a lot.  She's always up for getting together, is super generous, a loving mom and wife, and just a thoughtful person.  I appreciate C's friendship so much!  When I got to be one of the first to meet her new beauty, I was so blessed to hold the new life and enjoy the first loves.  I can't imagine life without her and her beauties..

When we first moved to the Fort, we lived next to an amazing family that has become our family too.  There is too much to say about the M's.  They are devoted to their family and friends in a way that I've rarely seen, let alone been part of.  As she came to drop off tables and chairs for the BBQ, I was hit with a tremendous wave of grief and thankfulness..  A took care of my P when I was in the hospital having M.  She was one of the first to meet him in the NICU.  Her girls have been wonderful friends to my kids and P is going to miss her N deeply.  The whole family brightly shines and I can't say enough about them.  There's no replacing friends like these. 

My P was playing in the pool with her little friend M (not my son, a little lady).  The two were squealing and I was encouraging them to squeal more quietly when yet another wave crashed over me.  We've known little M since she was born, in fact I met her parents E and R just before she was born.  I sold her some baby items on Craigslist.  We clicked and kept in touch after M was born.  I ended up babysitting her a day or two a week and loving her so much.  E and I were quick friends and were able to forge a deep friendship that I appreciate so much.  She told me that she was pregnant at just 6 weeks along and I got to see the steady changes over the next 34 weeks until her beauty was born with a full head of gorgeous brown hair and sweet little face.  I can't imagine seeing her for the last time before we leave for Qatar... 

There are some people who's hearts are just so big.  Our friends M and B are two such people and we just adore them (as do our children).  As B was taking pictures of the party (can't wait to see them) and M was gushing over the cute kids I was hit with a wave of love and appreciation.  M has just a heart for justice and for helping people.  B is such a sweet soul and my P and M just love him.  They babysat for us on several occasions so A and I could get out alone.  Anyone who knows us, knows how rare it is to find people that our kids will stay with... Their little faces would light up as they fidgeted around anticipating M and B's arrival each time and there would be fun stories afterward.  They are just really fun friends that we appreciate so much.  We have it on good authority that we will be getting a date night when they come to visit... 

There were so many more waves that hit me at the party and more as the days go on.  I'm like a blubbering mess of emotional waves.  I wish I could write about each person who has meant so much to us.. but that would literally take ages. 

Here are a few other waves I've been hit with recently:
My children have had all their birthdays here.
My son was born here.
A and I pursued and failed at adoption here.
We had our first (and second) home as a family.
We bought a minivan!!
We made friends, lost friends, loved deeply, hurt deeply... 

I'm actually glad I'm being hit by waves.  They are beautiful.. sometimes overwhelming, but beautiful.  I know there will be more, there always are.  I think this time I will feel each one and put aside the space between fine and frustrated.  Well.. I will try.

It's hot.

We (K and the kids) went to the zoo this morning with my good friend and her little girl.  I wanted to take the kids one more time before we leave and today was it.  We went on a boat ride, splashed in the fountain, brushed some goats, enjoyed friends... times are good at the zoo. 

It hasn't been a very warm summer by any standards and after the winter we had, I'm kind of glad for mildness.  Today, however, it is like 95.  We left the zoo at about 11:30 to go to lunch. We got out into the parking lot, I opened the van and cranked up the AC so it would cool before putting the kids in their seats. 

P:  Ugh... it's SO HOT mom!
Me:  Well, it's pretty warm, but not that bad.
P:  It's BAD.. REALLY HOT!
Me: ok, well I've got the AC on high so it should cool quickly.
P: MOM!  It's too hot in here!
Me: (getting annoyed)  I realize it is hot, but it's not terrible.  You may have to learn to deal with a little heat, you know in Qatar it's going to be REALLY hot...
P:  I'm NEVER going outside.. EVER.


Well, that will be fun. 

Doha's temps for the week - 111

**Just as I was finishing this little post, I realized that I turned on the hose to fill the little pool...  And watered the lawn extensively because I forgot to turn it off.  Fail.

Another sleepless night...

The closer we get to Qatar, the less sleep I seem to get.  I'm functioning, but I'm pretty sure I look like I've been run over by something fast that didn't look back. 

The kids and I got back from visiting family in MI yesterday.  I forgot their airbeds, sheets, and all of M's clothing [fail].  P and I are on couches, while M and A are in our queen size airbed.  We woke up this morning, got ready, I dropped P off at her best friend's house, and M and I ran errands... for 6 hours.  He was a champ, totally did better than I did.  We ran to the local kids' consignment shop first and got him a few outfits for the few days we are spending here before heading back to MI.  He was totally geeked to find a shirt from the Qatar Foundation (soccer shirt)!

We (this means I) scheduled P's birthday party along with our farewell to the Fort (Ft. Wayne) party for this Sunday.  M and I ran all over town gathering the supplies we needed to make P's celebration awesome and to entertain and feed 50ish people.  I'm a quality time person and I keep wondering how I am going to manage the party details plus getting to see and chat with everyone in only 3 hours.  It's important because this will be the last time we see most of these people before we leave [sniff sniff].  I'm doing most of the prep work tomorrow, so that I can actually enjoy the party.  This means I need to get up and get going in the morning, but here I am (2:00am) blogging instead of sleeping...

I'm tired, my eyes droop, I feel sleep coming... and then.  Nothing.  The kids will be up in 5 hours, so I'll be up in 5 hours, and yet I can't get to sleep.  I went to my doctor just for a consult before we leave and he suggested some medicine to help me sleep.  I've tried taking it, but it doesn't seem to have much effect.  I can only hope that when we arrive in Qatar I don't need to sleep for a month straight. 

 

Time is running short...

Today (well to be fair, starting last night at 8) felt like a train wreck of 24 hours.  We've been in MI for the past week and a half visiting family.  My sister and her family are visiting from Oregon and we go at full speed for two weeks with all seven kids in tow.  A has been up since Friday evening after work, which has been GREAT!  We were chatting yesterday about things we need to get done before we leave for Doha and A mentioned that he'd gotten an e-mail reminding us that we needed to get an international driver's license before arriving.  This was news to us because we'd gotten an e-mail previously saying that we didn't need one.  We started researching getting one yesterday and realized that it could take weeks to send the application and receive it back (we've got a month...).  We also need our current driver's license to get the international one...  We just changed our address to my dad's house because he is taking care of our personal business while we're gone.  This means that our IN driving license is now not our current address...

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

Here's the best part...  I went to the MI Secretary of State website and realized we needed ALL of the following to get our MI driver's licenses:  current driver's license, social security card, passport, birth certificate, and two pieces of mail (with the new address).  ALL of those (except the current license) were in INDIANA.  A has to leave tomorrow for work on Thursday and the next time he comes back, we'll have just two weeks until take off.  It had to be done today.  We realized all of this last night at about 8:30.  In Michigan.  2.5 hours from the documents.  See the fun about to happen???

So, at 9:00pm, my sister-in-law (bless her for insisting she ride with me for the 5 hour trip) and I buckled into the minivan headed to Ft. Wayne to pick up our file of documents.  We talked, had snacks, stopped for gas...  It was uneventful.  We got to our house and I realized that the realtor who had shown the house a few days before had left lights on (like a lamp with thin paper shade left on), curtains open etc.. Not cool. 

I grabbed the documents, fed the fish, and we were back on the road.  At 3:00 this morning, we pulled back into the driveway extremely tired and ready for sleep.  Of course, the kids were up nice and early.  I got up and called AAA about coming into their office to get the international licenses.  Apparently, the office that was close to us didn't provide the "travel services" that we needed, so we had to drive 45 minutes in the opposite direction to get the international driving licenses...  We started driving this morning at 10am.  We had to get passport photos taken for our licenses, drive 45 minutes, get the international licenses (which took like 3 minutes), drive 45 minutes back to the MI secretary of state office to get our MI licenses...  we squeezed in a trip to a children's museum, lunch, and another trip to the farm. 

24 hours later, I feel like I've been hit by a bus.  I need to sleep.


We'll be in Qatar one month from today. 
A new home.
A new adventure.
No more packing.
No more "to do before we leave list!"

How Did We Get Here?

Friendly disclaimer: This is A's first post, and in typical fashion, it is quite verbose.

As we wind down our time here in Fort Wayne, many people have asked, "How did you learn about this opportunity?" or "What makes you want to do this?". For me, these are two different questions with two different answers. Let's start with the second one first.

What makes you want to do this?

This is an important question. But it's answer is equally important to me. When I tell people about my story, some are perplexed, others are in awe, and others rejoice in its novelty.

I've always believed that everything is training for the next thing.

Growing up in rural Texas as part of a broken family with a hard-working single mom has shaped me. Living in several states and a couple of different countries has shaped me. Enjoying people of a variety of backgrounds has shaped me. But my faith has built and anchored me. It has been my constant for these past thirteen and a half years. Upon embarking on my first adventure to Morocco as a young, single man in the summer of 2005, my naivete was transformed into a life-changing experience that would forever prepare me to live a life unique to me, my matchless bride I met in Morocco, and our priceless children that would follow.

After meeting in Morocco, quickly becoming best friends, and pursuing a forever-long bond together in marriage, my wife and I knew we would return overseas, but didn't know when. For many years, we have both known we are "wired" to live internationally. She has known since the age of ten and I have known since I was about twenty-one.

Now is the time.

For many reasons:

1. We feel as though we have accomplished our primary goal of building relationships with our family. Since we are from Michigan and Texas and met while in Morocco, it was important to us to spend time with and get to know our family as a married couple. So we've spent time in Portland, the Austin area, and now Fort Wayne to be near our family. We are so encouraged and beloved by each of them and are continually thankful for them. But now we feel like it's time to make a "selfish" decision for us.
2. Our kids are still young. At five and three-and-a-half years old, their roots are not deeply planted. If they were older, I think it would be a bit more difficult to make such a drastic change. Of course we will miss our close friends here in Fort Wayne, but will be able to keep in touch online and when we visit during the summers.
3. We continually want to be in a frame to do whatever we are asked to do, wherever we are asked to do it. We have thoroughly enjoyed our time in Fort Wayne. Specifically for me, I have worked with incredible people at Fort Wayne Community Schools and would do it all over again if I got to take a mulligan. I have grown so much, both personally and professionally, largely due to refinement from my colleagues and friends.
4. We're simply wired this way. Some may relate to these wise words: "Does the clay say to him who forms it, 'What are you making?'".

How did you learn about this opportunity?

I'm not sure why, but I'm always surprised that so many people either never considered teaching overseas or never thought it possible. I have also encountered people who had considered in the past, but never acted on it for a variety of reasons. For people who know us, they're not surprised when we tell them of our next "adventure". For us, it's not as much of an adventure as it is the foreshadowed next chapter. (For the kids, though, it will certainly be a new adventure.)

When Kattie and I first ventured to Morocco, we had to ask our families and friends for a lot of extra support. This time, with a family, we are in a different stage of life. For those of you interested, there are literally thousands of opportunities to work in a school setting overseas. Some might think we're going overseas through the U.S. Department of Defense, but that is not the case. In fact, the U.S. Department of State recommends many American and International schools for Americans living abroad to send their kids for their schooling. A list of schools "at post" can be found on their Office of Overseas Schools website.

Many of these schools begin searching for applicants to fill vacancies at the end of each calendar year, but I began doing my "homework" in October. Initially, we wanted to go back to our beloved Africa and even explored the possibility of returning to Casablanca, Morocco, but there were no vacancies for me. With so much instability within many African countries, we thought it best to shift our focus to more stable countries, preferably in an Arab culture we enjoy so much. I started looking at Dubai and Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates, but noticed that many schools hire teachers through international recruiting fairs. So I registered for the closest one located at the University of Northern Iowa, taking place in early February (for more information, visit here). Through registering for the fair, a few schools were interested in me: one in Saudi Arabia, one in Cairo, Egypt, one in Hong Kong, and Awsaj Academy in Doha, Qatar. I Skype interviewed with the school in Hong Kong and Awsaj prior to the fair and they both wanted to offer me an initial two-year contract. Since our desire is to be in either Africa or the Middle East, we accepted the offer without even having to attend the recruiting fair, which turned out to be great since the winter weather was brutal this year.

It has been quite a journey these past several months preparing to leave, but we have learned many valuable lessons we would never have learned otherwise. If the learning curve will be this steep with moving back overseas, I'm excited! It means I'll get to embrace further refinement and growth as we submit ourselves to becoming better versions of ourselves daily.

As I reflect on life, regardless of circumstances, everyday frustrations, and frequent letdowns, I can always consider what is pure and beautiful, always hoping in the everlasting condition of being in the "right frame".