Adjusting.. and how we're really doing..

Well, we've been here just under 10 days (that was before I got Perry the parasite..  this post has been on hold for a while - it's more like just under three weeks now).  Boxes are unpacked and the place is downright organized!  Aside from one box of wall hangings (we have to have housing hang them for us - not allowed to do it on our own) and one box of P's dress-ups that I haven't gotten a rack for (this is done now), we are no longer in "unpack and get settled" mode.  I do have to organize my storage (home school supplies) closet, but that is a project for another day (did it today!)... 

Before.

After.

I've been getting a lot of questions from people who want to know how we are all adjusting to life.  I was thinking about this question today as I finished unpacking and organizing the load of books we brought and I came up with a few categories to discuss... 

Sometimes.. we just sleep without notice.  Silly jet lag.

Sleep - Sleep is a big deal...  It's a big deal without kids, but with kids it is a really really big deal.  They have to sleep so you can sleep so you can all function.  The first several nights were rough for everyone.  A huge time difference, flying through a night, and then arriving here at night really threw us for a loop as far as sleep.  I'm happy to report though that we have turned the sleep corner.  Everyone is sleeping at the appropriate times and although the sun comes up before 6 am and sets around 6pm (every day of the year), the kids are sleeping until 7or 8am.  I'm sleeping SO much better than before we left the States, which I can only attribute to the decrease in my stress level.  A has always had an easy time sleeping and he only took two nights to adjust to the time change!

Sites and Sounds - There are a lot of different things to see and hear in a new country.  Living in a desert, middle eastern country provides new sensory experiences frequently.  Tan...  Everything is tan.  Buildings, sand, the sky.. It all seems tan.  At night though, the buildings are all lit up and it is quite a site to see.  The kids notice things often like the different clothing worn by locals; M: "Mommy.. why is that guy wearing a cape?"  Me:  "It's a thobe.. that's what men who are from here wear."  M:  "Oh, ok.."  They just accept things and go on, I wish adults were like that.  I know they have noticed women who are completely covered, but haven't asked yet.  I try to let them approach me, so as to not put thoughts into their heads about "differences."  There's also the call to prayer 5 times a day.  We can hear it (thought not loudly) and though I notice it, it doesn't really register (I think my mind has gone back to Morocco where I was used to it.).  One of the kids asked about it and we explained what it was, now every time they hear it, P will tell M, "You hear that?  It's the call to prayer."  And they keep on playing...

Weather - We live in a desert..  It's hot.  Yes, really hot.  No, it's not a "dry heat" at the moment, and despite my original feelings - it doesn't make a difference.  105 degrees (give or take a few) is just hot.  I'm a Midwestern girl, which means I am used to mild summers (sometimes over 100, but rarely), lovely fall days with crispy leaves, winters with snow (yes a lot), and wet cool springs...  No, I don't love the heat right now.  It means we don't really go out during the day.  It is tough on the kids as they are very used to being outside a lot, but they are adjusting ok.  I've had to adjust to a lot more noise and play inside (somersaulting off couches, swinging from two chairs, riding bikes in the hallway of our apartment...).  We go to malls (a national pass time) to play and there are lots of play groups, we're still learning our way around though.  Mostly, we get the kids out either for bikes, swimming, parks etc. after dark each night when the temperature dips into the mid 90s.  The compound that we live in has a GREAT pool area with both a pool for young children and one for older kids/adults.  The water is always warm, but it's still refreshing.  A bonus... no towel needed to dry off after swimming (gotta be positive).  We are told (and are counting on) that "winters" are amazing.  Weather is perfect (70s/80s) for several months before the scorching heat returns. 

Food - This was a concern of mine..  As many of you know, both P and M are picky little people.  They love fruits and veggies, but they are kids, and as such, have definite ideas about what they eat.  We also have the whole gluten free (for A) to work into the mix.  I've been happily surprised at how well everyone has adjusted.  There is a HUGE variety of products available at various stores here, so one can find almost anything (at a price)...  I started right away with incorporating new snacks and foods and they've (P and M) been really good.  They've loved the kabobs at the clubhouse grill (walking distance) and have also found eating at American fast food chains a surprising treat.  Gluten free items are available at our local grocery, but I haven't found GF bread yet. A friend found it at a larger store, but it was almost $10 for 12 slices!!! Yikes..  Not sure A will be eating too much PBJ in Doha.

People - This is one that has me floored...  P and M are not exactly the socialist butterflies around new people.  They LOVE their friends, but tend to take quite a while to warm up.  Here I've noticed the complete opposite.  They have wandered around A's school cafeteria (during family orientation times) tapping people on the shoulder and initiating conversations! A and I have been pleasantly shocked many times.  Both kids had to stay in the school's child watch for 1/2 day while we took a driving test, and while they were reluctant to stay, they LOVED it...  So much so, that they often want to go back and play with Ms. A...  She's a child whisperer..  We've met GREAT people here so far and are very very happy at the friendships that are developing.  Community really makes or breaks international living (in my opinion) and this is a good one.

The kids helping organize our space.  We love IKEA!

Living Space - Aside from not having my familiar people and the heat, this is my biggest adjustment so far...  I should start out by saying that our apartment is very nice and very amply sized, but I'm used to much more space for the kids and am working on adjusting to life in a 2-bedroom apartment vs a 4-bedroom house (with full basement, large den, and fenced yard).  There's constantly coloring items on the dining room table, which is in the joint LR/DR area.  The living room is used as a play area most of the day, so I'm stepping over random pillow and book piles or trying to avoid legos under foot.  A and I gave the kids the master BR, so the room is very large for two small children, but they prefer to play in the family area...  I find myself picking up all the time, just to restore order, but am trying to relax and do a couple of "quick pick ups" a day.  I want the kids to feel free to play (since outside play isn't possible) and still teach them to pick up after themselves.  It's an adjustment for me.. not sure that anyone else is really bothered by it, but it will take me some time.  The kids are also adjusting VERY well to sharing a room.  They actually seem to enjoy it a lot, especially at bedtime.  Sleeping hasn't been an issue, they pretty much chatter a bit and then go off to sleep.

They made a reading circle.

The living room turned play area..  Just breathe. 

Being without friends/family/familiarity- There's no doubt that this is the area of most adjustment for me.  Being without family and friends is very difficult, though it is made easier via the Internet (if only we could get our wi-fi working properly...).  It would be nice to have a cup of tea with A or a play date with E and C or spend the weekend with C, R, and M...  but I'm taking each day as it comes and trying hard to engage with all of these great new friends.  P and M are doing really well also, they are at a good age for this transition I feel.  They play games where one of them is a friend/family from the States and they are playing or visiting, they talk sweetly about friends/family and how they can't wait to see them soon..., but they are little and make friends quickly and so they are doing well.  At times, out of the blue, one of them will say... "Is ______ awake right now?" or "What time is it where _______ is?"  It's sweet and a bit sad at the same time.  It's hard to drive around and have very few things look familiar, I don't know the stores in the malls, the children's play places have yet to be discovered... but I remind myself that what is foreign will become familiar if I give it time and effort. 


Well.. that was longer than I had anticipated so I'll stop there.  If you have any specific questions about our adjustment to life here, please ask, I'm happy to answer!